Moneycontrol News | November 06, 2024

Caught your child lying to you? Here's how to handle the situation

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Finding out that your child has lied to you  can be devastating. However, instead of  reacting with big emotions, take a step back  and approach the issue calmly

Tackle the situation calmly

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Punishing will only teach the child to further hide things from you and they might learn to do it more deftly. Instead, try to find out the reason why they felt compelled to lie

Punishment is not the solution

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When you realise your child has been dishonest, try not to react immediately with punishment or an emotional outburst. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents to keep emotions in check when addressing children’s misbehaviour, fostering a supportive space for growth

Don't react immediately

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Try to gently explore the reason behind the  slip up. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me what happened?” or “Why did you feel you couldn’t tell me the truth?” These may encourage them to express their feelings without the fear of being reprimanded

Explore the reason

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When they do start talking, listen without judgment. Show empathy and acknowledge their feelings. You want them to feel safe about talking to you

Don't judge

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Once you understand the situation, emphasise  the value of honesty in a way they can grasp. Instead of focusing on the lie, explain why telling the truth is essential for trust

Don't focus on the lie

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Make sure your child understands that lying has consequences but instead of simply punishing, your child should be able to learn something from this

Lying has consequences

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Let your child know that they can come to  you with the truth and that you’ll listen without judgment. Reinforce that being honest won’t  always result in punishment

Honesty does not mean punishment

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Make sure there are no ambiguities about  the rules in your house, like eating dinner in  front of the TV, or being back home at a certain time. If you are inconsistent with your rules,  your child will be confused

Enforce the rules of the house

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Children can internalise positive behaviours when they are dealt with patience and consistent reinforcement. Don’t hold back on constantly emphasising the benefits of honesty and how they can be trusted more if they are honest

Benefits of being honest